Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize