I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize