His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
