Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
