I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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