covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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