I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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