Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
