I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
