if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
