There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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