I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
