just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
