dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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