All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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