We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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