note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
