ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
