Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
