Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love having hate sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
