Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
