It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
