My room smells like vodka and shame
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
