I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
