I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
