In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize