hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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