Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
