my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize