Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Two words: blizzard sex
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All I want is dick and wine.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
