I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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