How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
