He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
