My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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