Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
