How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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