Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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