you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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