The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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