Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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