You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
