she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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