she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
