I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Are we in a gay sports bar?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
