I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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