I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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