Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
