nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize