I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
