My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
