I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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