This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sarcasm needs its own font
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
