I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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