Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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