I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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