can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
