the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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