I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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